Burn It All Away

SIDE NOTE FOR THE DAY (enjoy) :

Lately everything has just be weighing me down, there’s not really one time I remember all week enjoying and having an actual good laugh. I was really young when I learned how to fake a happy face, and I’ve been using it to my advantage ever since then. Now I feel like I’m using it everyday. And when people ask me what’s wrong I just change the subject and talk about them, I just don’t feel like talk about what’s going on with me anymore. Me talking about it just makes me want it more and I guess right now it’s not going to happen.

I’ve been going back to my bad habits more and more recently. There’s always something that makes me want to do it, but nowadays they’ve just been more demanding. I’m one of those people who rather feel inflected pain than having emotional pain. I’d rather burn something into myself, than feel the pain of something else. I use to be a cutter, but then I bled too much so I stopped cutting and started burning. So when I get emotional overwhelmed I burn a new thing into my wrist. I have a heart, and two star; I’ve been trying to no burn but every time something goes away, something else comes up. It’s just like draining and addicting to burn instead of feeling emotional pain.

Only one person knows that I burn (POOH) and she’s the only one I’ve ever told. YORKER found out because I slipped and lifted up my sleeve. Besides those two nobody else knows. This blog is keeping me from running in my room right now and burning, I guess it’s a good distraction but it doesn’t last a burn hurts for about 2-3 days depending on how well I do it. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with burning at all, I can’t die from it, and health issues I don’t think there’s any.

I AM WHO I AM PLEASE DON'T TRY TO CHANGE MY MIND OR TELL ME WHAT I'M DOING IS WRONG I'M DAMN-NEARLY 20 YEARS OLD I KNOW HOW TO MAKE MY OWN CHOICES && THIS IS ONE OF THEM!!!