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Tuesday, January 04, 2011

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE!

Although I’m al little late on that sorry about that but I still thought it was nice to say it. Yes! I’m back to blogging my life out! I’m actually excited for this blog year. Not so much the real year but excited to be blogging again. There’s not way I could start off without a proper recap of everything that’s been going on since my last entry. So I’ll just jump right into that.


LAST TIME:

I was talking about a Mr. Green Eyez a lot well he’s out. Not completely out but definitely in the romantic way. We’re just friends and I plan on leaving it that way. And I’m fine with that there’s nothing id change and I don’t really regret what happened. Sometimes you got to go through thing just to be sure they not going anywhere more than where you’re already at. If that makes any sense at all; so that’s where I and Green Eyez are. As far as me and Yorker that as of now is a wrap and I don’t think its going to change from that, and again I’m fine with that not going to go out my way to change anything. If its meant to be then it will become otherwise I’m don’t trying to change people minds, emotions, and forcing things out of them.


NEW THINGS:

I’m excited to start school in the spring. I’m only taking 3 classes because of everything going on {family} so I’m fine with 3 classes for this semester; I’ll be taking a poetry class, intro to psychology and women and religion class. There’s nothing I’m not looking forward to! I’m excited for it all. Okaaaay so there’s this girl at GCC who is so into me and has talked to me all break calling me babe and sweetie and everything; even mentioned that she wanted to have sex with. (Note: not me having sex with her, her sexing me.) and they weirdest thing is I kind of thought she was into me before but damn not like that, but apparently I just have that affect on people. I really don’t see this going anywhere, I’m on a total different level then she is on and I don’t know how else to say it. There’s someone newly-old (in case you don’t get it: someone who is old and been here but new a different part of my life) in my life, and everything for us changed on New Years and I’ve been smiles ever since, but then it set in that...I don’t have a chance. Although she says otherwise I feel in my gut something else but in my heart its love. Yes! I just say the “L” word; I love her, kind of always have, but it was blocked a lot but someone else. And now that I have the time to think about it…its all clear to me now; I love her but I’m scared and it’s hard to explain on my side. She’s made her side very clear to me and that scares me too. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I don’t want to say something will happen and then it doesn’t. So I’m just going to keep my mouth shut and hope for the best but expect the worse. Because getting hurt isn’t on my 2011 to do list and I don’t plan on having it on there.



FAMILY THINGS:

As of right now I’m over family things. They more tiring then running at 4x4 and I don’t plan on letting anything else regarding family stress me out anymore. My “sister” (I use that term very loose with her) is just retarded when it comes to common sense and morals. And I think that’s another thing that separates us from each other. She has 3 kids; my mom is taking care of 1, the other one is with her and she barely can take care of her and then she has one on the way. At some point it’s just like uh hello wake up obviously you don’t need anymore kids! But you can’t tell someone something when they think they know everything. It’s like talking to a brick wall and expecting it to listen to you. (Not going to work) My brother is out of jail and hopefully thing become “normal”, he’s about to have his first kid and name him after him of course. And I’m way more excited for his baby way more than my “sister.” As far as my mother she’s still trying to move us to California and I don’t want to go back! I just feel like I have a great support system out here: Nolan, Jen, Lipma, Tomas, and the list goes on its like all my friends out here are doing good, in school and on the right path. I can’t say that for all my friends in California and although I’m not easy, I don’t want to fall into the wrong things. Agh I would really rather just stay here and go to college and open my building and go from there…but me and Chris have tried everything and they not having it. Not only are we talking about education factors here but damn people getting killed 24-7 out there, just walking down the street and getting shot? Uh definitely not cool and I have a lot to live for! I’m only 20.


-TD

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