I’ve been with my “step family” since I was about 7 years old. I guess that you’d figure that we’re all close and family like…the problem with that is that we’re not. We’re not even close to it. My step dad, my two sisters still treat me like the odd one out. Usually my step sister Ty (older) and my step dad don’t live here, but for most of the summer they are here and now more than ever I feel like the odd ball that I’ve always felt like. I just don’t fit in with them and they make it clear every time they are all together. My little sister Chris (younger) usually is my best friend but whenever Ty comes, it’s like I don’t matter nobody but my mom. And when Ty leaves then Chris is going to try and be all buddy buddy with me and im not having it. Im tired of being the odd one, the one pushed aside. If im not going to be treated the same all the time best believe that I don’t want to be apart of anything. I don’t have a dad and it’s like nobody gets that, I don’t know my other brothers and sisters neither. They’re all older than me by years and years. But if I have to I’ll go stay with one of them until I figure out my next move because being treated like the step-child isn’t my role anymore!! Nobody understands where im coming because they’re all on the same page and here I am 20 pages later in the book. I don’t get it, what do I have to do to get in with these people?!? Or maybe I’ll never fit in with them..i don’t know but that’s what im starting to thinking about it. I’m just going to have to come to reality that I’ll never have sisters like I see on movies or even with my friends and their families. Just another thing I’ve gave up in my life, I guess I should be use to it by now.
And me being a typical person who love to control situations and not being able to control this family thing, ive been trying to control everything else and in the process loosing everything else, or pushing it always from me. The two things I hate to do. Its like I cant do anything right and I keep messing up. I feel like a huge screw up about everything right now. And the only thing I know to do is back off everything until they come back in line for me. Crying myself to sleep and crying quietly has become my best friends, I don’t get how there’s maybe 15 people I call friends, 4 I call best friends and nobody’s here for me…
I’ll keep you updated on this though…
-Lady
And me being a typical person who love to control situations and not being able to control this family thing, ive been trying to control everything else and in the process loosing everything else, or pushing it always from me. The two things I hate to do. Its like I cant do anything right and I keep messing up. I feel like a huge screw up about everything right now. And the only thing I know to do is back off everything until they come back in line for me. Crying myself to sleep and crying quietly has become my best friends, I don’t get how there’s maybe 15 people I call friends, 4 I call best friends and nobody’s here for me…
I’ll keep you updated on this though…
-Lady
